• Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
• Song Title: Amish Paradise
• Album: Bad Hair Day

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the mornin' Im milkin cows
Jebadiah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And Ive been milkin and plowin so long
That even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land I'm into discipline
Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight were gunna party like its 1699

We been spendin most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Its hard work and sacrafice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Livin' in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, infact I wish him well
Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in Hell
But I never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Ahmish with a 'tude? You know thats unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impared

Theres no phones, no lights, no motor cars
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Carusso, it's as primitive as can be

We been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Were just plain and simple guys
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We don't fight we all play nice
Livin' in an Amish paradise

Hichin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raise a barn on monday, soon I'll raise anoder
Think your really rightous, think your pure at heart
Well I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy, the little omletts wanna be like
On my kness day and night, scorin' points for the after life
So don't be vain, and don't be whinney
Or else my brother, I might have to get midevil on your hinney

We been spendin most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Were all crazy menanites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Theres no cops or traffic lights
Livin' in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Livin' in an Amish paradise